My wife had a small problem.
She is the dominant partner in our relationship, and we play with BDSM. We like to explore some games with mild sadomasochism and I encourage her to find and push mine and her limits. We enjoy it, and sometimes I need to be punished.
But I also enjoy impact play. I love to receive a spanking, and often I really want her to seize control and exert her will on me. I’ll playfully tease and provoke, hoping that she’ll unleash retribution. I’ve asked her to try and find my limits, by hunting for my safeword.
Which was quite a bit of a problem.
After all, how can a sadist punish a masochist?
Her answer is a little ingenious: she has turned to objectification; often the threat of it will have me scurrying. After all, so much of our BDSM play is in the anticipation as much as the activity itself. But objectification is the opposite of everything I like: no touching, no attention, nothing. Just being ignored and used as a functional blob of Carbon atoms.
So when she wants to punish me, she will have me strip, make me kneel on the floor, and rest her feet on me as she watches television: no interaction at all. Other times I have been a table. It’s all about removing from me what I want.
But what I really need is her dominance and so while I hate her punishment, and she can make it worse if she tries, it’s preferable to a kink-less world. But short of experimenting with my red lines – scat, cross-dressing, etc – it is the only way she has found to inflict any sort of meaningful discipline on me.
Although that’s not to say the cane, crop, paddle, etc don’t cause pain, because they do. Objectification though, is torture. Far more than a bloodied or bruised bottom.